Who Should You Compare Yourself To?

Jun 30, 2021
well-being coach & mentor stop comparing transformational life coach life foundations

Comparison is a pretty natural human thing that we all tend to do. 

While being inspired by others can be a great thing, comparing ourselves to others can be damaging. 

Over the last decade, so much of our connection to the world has been taken over by social media. 

While social media offers us such great connection in so many ways, it's also really opened a door to the comparison trap that we can all feel. 

It can be so easy to fall into a habit of looking at others' lives online and feeling insufficient in our own. 

I want to point out the obvious here, that we so often forget...
The majority of people are just posting the pretty corners of their lives.
The successes.
The beauty.
The happiness.
The adventure. 

This is an important piece to remember.
If you are not seeing people struggle online, it's not because they don't struggle. It just that they don't post it. 

However, I do think that there is a person that it can be really helpful to compare yourself to. 


Who are you today compared to who you were yesterday, last week, last year, 5 years ago? 

While I love being inspired by others' lives, I do my best to focus on comparing myself only to who I was in the past. 

Am I continuing to grow as a person? 
Am I living my life more closely to what feels ideal for me? 
Am I continuing to becoming a better communicator? 
Am I improving my wellness habits & routines? 
Am I getting better at speaking my mind & setting boundaries? 
Am I responding to things in a way that feels better than the reactions of the past? 
Am I absorbing the lessons I learn and letting that guide me to new healthier behavior? 
Am I continually taking better care of myself in all of the little ways? 
Am I gaining a deeper sense of self-love & confidence? 

If I focus on just comparing where I am at to where I was in the past, It gives me the opportunity to celebrate my growth.  Noticing the improvements I continue to make inspires me to keep going. It also gives me the clarity of where to focus my energy on my own personal journey. 

If I were to focus on comparing myself to what others are posting on social media, I tend to feel frustrated, hard on myself, and just plain not good enough. 

It's the difference between a self-defeating process & a self-empowering process. 

My message today is simple. 

Choose the self-empowering process. 

Whenever you see someone online that is accomplishing things that you feel like you should be accomplishing, remind yourself that you don't know about the rest of their story.
Come back to self-reflection.
Celebrate the ways that you have grown in your life. 
Notice the places that you do not feel like you are growing so that you can be curious & bring a focus there. 

The only person in your life that you need to compare yourself to is who you were in the past. 

Allow that to be your guiding, empowering force in how you move forward. 

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