How To Energize Yourself When You Are Feeling Drained

May 05, 2021
introvert self care extrovert self care well-being coach & mentor life foundations wellbeing coaching

I began my week feeling absolutely mentally energized.

Why? I had multiple very sweet & nourishing gatherings with dear friends over the weekend, and my personal cup felt overflowing.

As the weather has been nicer, and it's easier to gather outside responsibly, we're coming out of our winter caves.

For me, it seems to be just in the nick of time. I hibernated deeply this winter. I had a LOT of solitude.

On the introvert/extrovert scale, I'm smack dab in the middle. I'm an ambivert. Equally introverted and extroverted.

If you are more of an introvert, you get recharged with energy by having time alone, with your own thoughts. You tend to get drained by being with groups of people.

If you are more of an extrovert, you get recharged by being around people and feel drained by too much time alone.

While none of us are ALL introverted or extroverted, it's common to lean one way or the other. Since I've always been a solid 1/2 & 1/2, I've learned how important it is to be to really be in tune with what my needs are when I'm feeling low energy. It's a fine balance to hold.

I'll mention here that energy can mean more than one thing. If you want physical energy, I'm going to recommend sleep, water, exercise, and healthy food all day long. What I'm talking about today is mental energy. You know the difference. Feeling mentally drained can be so much harder to deal with than being physically drained in my opinion.

I very much tapped into the introvert in myself over the winter. With covid, far more than I ever have before. I'm sure that you can relate in some way. There's a big part of me that loved it. I really had so much relaxing downtime by myself that was full of opportunities for personal growth & self-care.

But recently, I felt like I hit a wall and had to check in with myself. My mental energy was low, I felt unfocused, and a bit blue.

I realized that it was past time to come out of my cave and feed the extroverted part of myself. This is why I began my week feeling on top of the world mentally after so much time around great people over the weekend.

I'm sharing this to encourage you to check in with yourself regularly on your mental energy and what you personally need to keep it up.

Are you more introverted or more extroverted? (If you don't know, you can begin by taking a version of the Myers-Briggs personality test to find out. There are plenty of options online.)

It's important to get to know yourself enough to know how to get your needs met and keep your energy up.

Take notice regularly of where your mental energy tank is at. if you are feeling drained, it's time to ask yourself what you need and come through with some solutions. This isn't something that anyone else can do for you.

It can be more challenging of course if your work or any other big part of your life goes 'against the grain' of your personality. For example, an introvert that works with a big group of people all day, or an extrovert that works at home alone all day. BUT if one of these circumstances sounds like you, it just means that you need to be a little more intentional with your daily & weekly routines to keep your energy up.

I have a client who's very introverted and works an extroverted job. After discussing her mental burnout feeling, her family agreed to leave her alone in her room to 'recharge' after work for 30-45 minutes when she gets home. This has made a world of difference for her. It was such a wonderful & adaptive solution for her to be supported in getting her needs met and energy up.

I have another client who's an extrovert and works alone. They have organized a series of different regular meetups with friends around similar interests that have now become traditions so they always have connections happening with very little effort.

These are the kinds of things that we can build into our lives to keep our mental energy tank full. You first need to be aware of what your needs are.

As a true ambivert, it's a constant balance that I need to honor. I schedule regular weekend getaways for good chunks of alone time. If I want to invite someone, I will. I schedule regular gatherings with friends, but I'm always sure not to commit to too much as I have done in the past. If I feel drained, I sometimes need to cancel. Doing the things that I need to keep this balance is deep self-care work that I've gotten so much better at over the years. You can too.

So, what level is your mental energy tank at?

Are you aware of what drains you? When you feel drained?

Can you think of some ways that you can build some structure in your life around your needs in this area?

Maybe a full evening alone reading a book once a week or a 1/2 hour of downtime to yourself after work each day?

Or a regular meeting with an energizing group on the calendar weekly?

I want to encourage you to tap into this very important form of self-care. When you do, your mental energy will be so much better, and that makes all the days of your life and everything in them feel so much better.

With Love,


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