How To Decide

I can suck at making decisions sometimes.

So often decisions are easy. My inner knowing is on the spot and I know exactly what to do.

Other times, those moments strike where I feel totally stuck and confused, not knowing which way to go.

I'm guessing I'm not alone here.

We are making decisions all day long. More than we are aware of.

Some decisions we are more conscious of - the things that we stop to think about.

Other times, we don't really stop to think at all. We act out of habit. We just do what we do. And we're still making a decision - a more unconscious one.

We tend to base a lot of our decisions on things like safety, comfort, familiarity, habit - not always what is necessarily best for us.

Since I'm focusing on self-love this month, I want to offer a self-loving lens to look through when making decisions.

What if every time you made a decision, you first asked yourself: "What is the most self-loving choice?"

What if you allowed that question to guide more of the decisions in your life?

I bet that way more often you would....

Choose to be doing more things that bring you joy.

Choose to go to sleep rather than watch another episode on Netflix, so that you have the energy & clear head you want the next day.

Choose to go for a walk in the fresh air or move your body in ways that you enjoy.

Choose to not be too restrictive with yourself.

Choose to eat according to what you enjoy AND what really nourishes your body the best.

Choose to set boundaries with people even when it's hard.

Choose to say 'yes' when you want to say 'yes' and say 'no' when you want to say 'no'.

Choose to prioritize your self-care before you overextend yourself to others.

Choose to make the doctor appointments, dental appointments, financial advisor appoints, accountant appointments, research new insurance, etc - All of those things that so many of us avoid.

Choose to apply for the job that might feel a little out of your league.

Choose to speak up for yourself even when it feels scary.

Choose to take the slightly longer and beautiful drive home along the river to make your commute more enjoyable.

This list. It could be endless.

Small decisions.
Big decisions.
Comforting self-care decisions.
Tough Decisions.

Developing a filter of self-love to view your decision making process through can be life-changing.

I want to encourage you to try this on.

Set the intention & remind yourself throughout the day to ask yourself "What's the most self-loving choice right now?" and see how you respond.

Use this question to make little decisions throughout your day.

The next time you have a big decision to make that feels challenging, view it with a filter of self-love & witness how that might change how you think about it.

We often think of self-love as taking bubble baths & scheduling massages.
Those are indeed really great acts of self-love & self-care, but true self-love is really more of an inside job.

Learning to use this internal filter of self-love when making decisions is simply a matter of building the habit of doing so.

The more you do, the more opportunities you will have to dig into your relationship with yourself & personally grow, and that more opportunities you will have to make self-loving choices.

A great way to build this habit in a tangible way is to commit to a 30-day journaling practice around this.

At the end of each day, for 30 days, write an example or two of decisions you made through a filter of self-love that day.

The journaling practice will help you to reflect and to keep this work at the forefront of your mind. You can develop a habit pretty quickly with this repetition. 

Could this journaling practice be a self-loving choice for you?

With love,

Shelly